President ...

 

President of the United States was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

 

"Hello, Mr. President” a heavily accented southern voice said.

 

"This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile , and I am callin' to

tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

 

"Well Archie," the President replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is

your army?"

 

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my

cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from

Hooters. That makes eight!"

 

The President paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my

army waiting to move on my command."

 

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"

 

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. President, the war is still

on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

 

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" The President asked.

 

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."

 

The President sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks

and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one

and a half million since we last spoke."

 

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

 

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “Mr President, I am sorry

to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that" said the President. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

 

Well, sir, said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat

over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed

that many prisoners."

 

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

 

If you are a REAL Southerner, you won't even need to be told to pass this on!